ALZHEIMERS Charity #ENDALZ
But first, Caroline wants a word...well, two actually....
Dave Burton Ltd owns some good domain names and want to sell them to raise money for Alzheimers, Cancer Research UK, Big Issue, PSP charities (PSPA) and more.
75% OF MONIES RAISED GOES TO #ENDALZ
Before downloading the domains spreadsheet below, please take 2 minutes to read this. Being realistic, the interesting bit is 'Buying and Selling Domains':
https://www.name.com/blog/the-top-10-most-expensive-domains-ever-sold
(opens in a new window)
Bear in mind that Home Away paid
£35m for the domain vacationrentals.com
in 2007.
Home Away were bought by Expedia in 2015 for $3.9billion
.
Expedia are the company I want to sell the domains to. Simple as!
That said, there is Air
nother
BNB
company interested. Nice.
Am excited by an additional business travel company's interest too. Nicer!
Between them, Diana and Caroline have delivered us with what follows. I knew there was something lingering...wherever you see the word fluck below, it's now fluck or flack. I guess flack is more for the cockernees innit, the flackin flackers!.
Thank you ladies, you are a complete flucking flacking flicking flocking godsend.
Any typos/grammar/speeling mistakes in what follows are entirely intentionnal.
So TALK TV have introduced a new format for Danielle Nicholls and Andre Walker and it WORKS! (sorry Andre, not being polite here...Danielle nailed so many points tonight ...and you were a bit...well...you said it...Richard Madeleyesque? Just a thought! Actually I did have another thought about you Andre...I think you'd be fab heading up this charity thing...
I'm not a TalkTVophile, but do enjoy it when I happen upon it...esp James Whale...who I've kinda followed for prob 25/26 years...back in his Talk Sport days. AH! (sprinkle of AI later)...thought it wasn't Talk Sport...James was on Talk Radio at night...some great moments. James nighttime, Spice Girls daytime, living in the Toon...fun and fab!
Discussed - the Pakistani wedding...awesomes! 100% THE ONLY WAY TO HOLD A WEDDING CELEBRATION! BRILLIANT AND THANK YOU PAKISTAN. (right, I've said it...could you stop playing such good cricket please...) Thanks for heads up on this Andre, brilliant.
Basically, a space rented for the day and evening and people just come and go as they please...no long boring dinners and speeches etc just happy people all day long.
Same episode - JFK assassination - worth watching for the pissed-offness of Andre.
Other stuff to chat about:
Mind dump - not for the sensitive, please skip if easily offended by clicking here
If animals were racist, how would zebras feel?
Age without limits advert - brilliant! I'm 60 guys...textbook. Get in touch pls.
Alcohol - six months dry (bar a blip) and feeling awesome...(new charity to be called I Only Wipe Once (thanks Dame Debra, for allowing the world to talk about bottoms...instead of politicians talking about their own arses and being, well, up them somehow)).
I like to stick to a balanced diet. Pint in one hand, pie in t'other. From Wigan innit.
On swearing - why is it ok for 12-90yos to love watching The Inbetweeners...awesome obvs...but when a properly and well delivered swear word like fuck (in context, generally) has real power in a live TV scenario, it's banned!???
So 12-90s love and enjoy expletive-ridden progs but I wouldn't be allowed to say 'that doesn't make any fuckin sense Sunak'...
Hmmm ok if things are live, but isn't it time for an outtakes version to be ok to be aired later? Viewing figures would skyrocket! Try it please TalkTV...hangon. Use a different word. Thanks to Diana (Dors) and Caroline (Flack), we'll continue in a new way!
'That doesn't make any flucking sense Sunak you flacker! (Rishi, I quite like you, this is just illustrative)
There's fluck all wrong about saying fluck for fluck's sake!
Say whatever you want with feeling, but no anger - 'The price of fluckin beef Ethel' etc... BEEP THAT FLUCKIN OUT BBC YOU FLUCKING CLUNTS! Oh you can't...and that was a bit angry, sorry.
For fluck's sake. 'Grow the fluck up Sunak'...nice ring that.
As for you Starmer - I really appreciate that you come from humble background, and respect your knighthood, s'funny you're a bit of a short-arsed fluck.
Time
Life is temporary. We all die eventually. Therefore, what matters most is how much we enjoy our lives, the people we know and love, and the good that we do for and with them, and they do for and with us. Life is awesome, embrace it. Doddy said 'Happiness' a lot, let's listen to it again...
[doddy audio]
On time, and family if they're bugging you, listen to Matilda by Harry Styles, totally awesome!
What really fluckin flucks me off is why the fluckin fluck oh why do kids have to be taught chemistry, biology all that shite that perhaps 0.1% of them will use, but they don't have flucking diy as an o-level? Which is a skill nearly flucking EVERYBODY needs! And while I'm on it, 100% translation methods will be in full use in this decade, so forget French and German in place of cooking and domestic chores, gardening etc, purrrrrleeeeeeezzz! Do Latin still tho. At least offer choices.
Seriously, by 2026 you'll see two people stood opposite each other seemingly in conversation, but using their phones. Why? They're speaking to each other, in two different flucking languages, c'est vrai!
Stop complaining
So many people waste so much time complaining about flucking "first-world problems." If you are reading this now, you are far more fortunate than many people on Earth.
Relationships
These are the fundamentals to a great relationship or being just friends, in order.
1. You have to know each other's name.
2. You have to like their voice and be able to understand each other (i.e. know the same language, or use a translator.
3. You have to have a laugh (not just at a tv show, with each other).
4. You have to have enough money between you for both, for whatever.
5. If more than 'just friends', you have to have (at least) a good sex life, in whatever form, doesn't have to be full sex.
6. You mustn't be a threat, especially not a controlling person.
7. They mustn't be family (unless just friends).
8. Looks don't matter.
All relationships that fail, do so because one or more of the above, in order, aren't 'tickable'.
All successful relationships tick all 8 boxes.
Here's a bit more:
You must know each other's name. I loved Debbie Harry, but sadly she never knew my name. I have never got to KNOW her. By which I mean 'hi' or a smile and knowing their name is enough to know someone. Not properly, agreed, but enough to know them...
You must like their voice (or at least, not dislike their voice - vital!). And don't say I hate my own voice.....no-one else hates your voice.
You must be able to laugh with them (not just while watching some comedy on tv)
You must have enough money between the two, no matter what the split. While not earning enough for the basic necessities is defo linked to unhappiness, having colossal amounts of money doesn't magically make people any flucking happier. Often the reverse is true.
You must be of the same sexual orientation and disposition (if not, but all else applies, these people can be the BEST of friends)
Have good (not necessarily mind-blowing, tho it helps) sex
Neither must be a true threat (we all argue, those that don't, also don't fit the Laugh criteria). This means, arguments over trivia, ok. Bigger arguments, ok. Unfaithful, ok, but only once EVER (to err is human, to forgive is divine). Controlling - NOT OK AT ALL, THE WORST, FLUCK OFF OUT OF EVERYONE'S OTHERWISE HAPPY LIVES YOU FLUCKING ABSOLUTE BASTARDOS.
They must not be family. Obvious. Unless friends of course, many are.
Looks don't matter. The richest, most beautiful couple on the planet may not laugh together, who'd want that?
Fit the criteria above?! Whether in a relationship or just mates? Fab! Job done.
That's all on relationships, you can open your eyes again...
Furlough - I was one of those who fell through the gap. Didn't get any . Cap Gemini offered me a job on £450pd on Feb 20 2020, for (I think) 12 months. I didn't think 'why me', I thought 'why not me'. I was cool with it. MIND THEN it got too long, I got v drunk, bit too much... almost to death... woke up... all good... hi again. Thanks TNM.
Sometimes bad things happen to good fluckers, and vice versa. Remembering that life isn't always fair, and trying to maintain a positive mindset, is flucking crucial. Rob Burrow.
Domains - 600+ domains for sale. 75% to Alzheimers, rest admin/salaries. See top of page.
Fear is a very natural emotion, it doesn't help us achieve a great deal, and can often fluck right the fluck up our plans to do what we want. Try to lead with love instead of fear whenever possible.
Time this country woke up...I swear all the time for fluck's sake. Great for emphasis but its power is lessened by usage. The worst example of swearing these days isn't sailors or brickies...it's a bunch of girls out on a hen! Definitely.
Bugger and damn and bloody used to be worse, haha.
Getting my teeth fixed at 60 - first appt was last Tue 2nd. just straighter...defo not rylan! bit lighter.
Barbanacci classic example of gratuitous swearing - shesnotfunny (yes actually she's flucking sublime) playing Barb, Johnny Vegas playing Archie aka Carl...(3 great guys there)
[Barbanacci audios x 6]
|sOUNDS like a flucking supercar or summat|!
thewebsitecritiquer@outlook.com - vicious tw*t.
[wayfair woeful video here]
Intruded rs - I FLUCKIN hate them. Look it the fluck up.
Bowie
5 years apart from some time with Sue, whom I love...but only in a friendly way - she's had tough times, poor lady. Great, great person. XXX Subie Sue!
Awks being single at 60. Peyronie's. Pah. Nearly gone. Phew. Ladies?
just.luxury 75% donated to charity - Beth, Aaron's friend in the Flower park, Ashton-in-Makerfield , this means you. Aaron has my number.
Aaron, the jaguar garage at /platt Bridge is yours.
Domains enough decision made
Lefty loosey - a phrase you think to yourself so often someone should tell you. Really fluckin useful tho.
Handbag website 50% for charity - I'll do a Banksy and need a front for the charity anyone pls.
access to plan - Beth this means you.
Dropshipping is hard work but if people follow free plan etc
Harrods dropship
Like the French Riviera idea?; Honfleur too.
Mad about the North
Went to Bolton School
Fool me once filmed there
IAN MCKELLEN ffs (hero)
Andre's clear pride about niece fab.
Mouse trackers - made to pretend to be wfh when you weren't - you know who you are.
Woman at BFBS berated me for not being onfluckingline for FLUCKS sake. I was fitting my fluckinhg sophos box you crazy flucker!
Agent who blackballed me from hmrc job in Blackpool, go FLuCK yourself. Guy at HMRC, I'm sorry, IT would have been awesome. ARIA guy here.
Ageism again - is it ok for a 60yo bloke to date a 40yo woman?
LIVERPOOL top city. DICKENS loved Liverpool and worked there for one day as a special constable.
Jax was fab, all things considered, I did love her. Pleased she's found happiness, hope they have a lovely life...
Jax, get your influencer friends to push myhandbag.store from July please...goes live then.
Leah, you too.
60yo bloke in park - loves kids - has his own - loves to watch them having fun and laughs SEEN watching them having fun and laughs ffs - badge? BIGGEST BUGBEAR OF ALL. Only solution for this is to get a flucking dog! I'm NOT a dirty old man...just a person (gender equality etc...in fact this REEKS of gender inequality. wait........... there you go! Fluckin 60yo! IN PARK! LOOKS AT KIDS! - PEDO. Flucking no I'm not a flucking paedo! get message out. Offers child lollipop or smiles at chid innocently - all kids for ten miles never seen in park again...pic of 60yo man looking at photos of his kids and just saying wwhat the fluck did i do wrong
Solution. All men wear a badge. Badge lights up green when entering park if he is of no threat and DBS checked etc, kids, mums, everyone can approach him, say hi etc. Flucking brilliant. Safeguards such as a single text by any person to check that the automated, single-use (changing each time) and unique badge no. is good is all that would be needed.
Cleaners, bus drivers and servers great people, love them all. Hate people who ever give them shit. I get involved...bit too much
That's the essence of the first line of a job application for me (and this is only so I don't get cross and shout at them 'YOU FLUCKING WANKER WHO THE FLUCK DO YOU FLUCKING THINK YOU ARE'
I FLUCKING HATE THOSE THAT DO THAT TO THE PEOPLE THAT FEED THEM, CLEAN UP AFTER THEM AND DRIVE THEM RIGHT TO THEIR FLUCKING BIG SwANKY FLUCKING HOUSES. THEY CAN FLUCK OFF! STOP IT YOU FLUCKING CLUNTS!)
Please stop and think before you do. And anyone else listening who sees this happen...don't say anything...just go to his table and place a coin next to his plate. To him he's richer. the flucking POOR idiot.
Fluck people like that. Seriously fluck off.
Who the fluck do they think they are.
End of the day, the uber rich, those with masses of wealth, they're good people. The amount they pour into philanthropic ventures is unheard of. tHERE IS AN EXCEPTION. lORD sUGAR IT'S YOU. Don't ever let the open door slam, THE flucking heavy DOOR OPEN TO ALLOW ME THROUGH AS i FOLLOWED YOU OUT OF bROADCAST hOUSE. That was my Phil Collins moment with In the Air Tonight you FLUCKING ****! SUE ME! FOR CALLING YOU A FLUCKUNTGGGHhahahahahahhah You LOOKED ME IN THE EYE THEN LET THAT DOOR SLAM SHUT. You're not Lord Sugar, in my book you're a RIGHT FLUCKER.
tHAT'S ALL.
tAHT TINY LITTLE THING... bECAUSE i WAS A 6FT 3IN FLUCKING MINION YOU FLUCKING flucker.
Oops. FLuck
Oh, caps were on, flucking oops, deal with it. Yeah I still look at the keyboard...well whatever I've had a brilliant career culmininating in hopefully a pretty good rest of the year.
Thank you, UHNWIs, and HNWIs...you are remarkable. Let's hope us minions recognise that and actually say, 'hi, thanks' to you ladies and gents, you're good. It's those SLIMe FLUCKING TYPES WHO THINK THEY SHOULDN'T have to wipe their own flucking arses (that ok ed? it's ok Dave) you know the flucking type. Next time someone looks down their nose at you, just quietly say 'strimmers are really good for those sir', and if its a woman, just quietly say 'strimmers are really good for those madam' (important to be polite).
Actually it really is REALLY flucking important to be polite.
And if you get road rage....you try it too. A smile from a stranger driving is wortha million scowls, believe me. Be nice.
Tina S best guitar player
Has anyone noticed an increase in road rage? Do you ever get road rage? Have you any idea how good you feel when you smile at another driver TO THANK THEM and they smile and wave back? ITS FLUCKING BRILLIANT!
I'll build the site then hand it over lock stock and barrel to the charities commission. In fact can someone else pick this up pls. It's just pulling a few bits of stuff together. Flucking hell, even I can flucking manage it.
Help PSPA please. 50% to Alzheimers, 20% to Big Issue (hi Kev G!) 5% of Alzheimers money going there too.
There was a villa on a Place in The Sun a month or two ago...Channel 4...dig it out. Aired on 28/9/23 zenmik. Kefalonia I think. £217,000. infinity pool. one bed. Fab. That'd do me + 1 (zenmik?).
Mind dump done. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd breathe................
Very much me in a shop...
14 trillion tons of ice lost due to us ripping off the planet.
The clear answer is solar.
We've buggered the 4.5 billion year old Earth in 200 years by ripping away its core, its atmosphere and its wood.
The Earth exists because of The Sun.
A company in The Netherlands has produced a car, available commercially next year, that runs on solar power and gives more than 7000 miles per year. That's enough for most.
Not cheap, but zero fuel costs..
Don't think that's it but what the fluck...I'll be having one for sure.
15 solar panels on the roof of a house give that house enough to exist, without power outage or power cuts.
A few more panels in the garden instead of patios and parasols and they're sorted.
And the panels will get smaller and neater.
All governments should just simply pour money into solar power.
Because unlike coal, the sun ain't going away anytime soon.
Wave and wind are good but the equipment degrades quickly because it moves, solar panels don't move, or get moved, why doesn't anyone get this?
The more solar panels, the cheaper they become, they just become part of life.
The Sun beget The Earth.
The Earth needs The Sun.
It's so clear that it's right there, right in front of your face.
Above us every day.
It's so clear.
For fluck's sake.
All done with solar....
The UK throws away 20 million slices of bread...
Think about Somalia
It's pronounced cata, as in catamaran.
Or cata, as in catapult
nice
RIP Rob Burrow, the real hero...tho Kevin did great in helping Rob achieve his aim.
It was 2022. Kinda, hmmmmm, not bad tho.
I call this one Cloud Nine
Liverpool on horizon
Thanks, but no thanks
Beautiful, don't go, it's like tabasco - too much can be damaging. Leave to the wildlife.
Who applauded the Shard? Who built the flucking shard? fluck off...flucking BOOOORRRRINNNNGGGG....
So flucking clever to leavethat bit open eh..whizzy flucking woo, clunts.
Topical at time of original publication, honest guv!)
Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace
Molly is the singer in a band
Desmond says to Molly, "Girl, I like your face"
And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, brah
La, la, how life goes on
Zackly
